Lawless Lawyers

Since the return to Pakistan of former military dictator Pervez Musharraf, a certain political party has taken flak over its perceived silence, reportedly at the behest of foreign sponsors. While the Saudis might have played a role in pacifying the former President’s political rivals, it can be reasonably assumed that they don’t wield the same influence over Pakistan’s legal fraternity.

The black coats have been Musharraf’s most potent opponents since his return, just as they were during his time in office. And while it is admirable that they have taken the initiative when others seemed somewhat hesitant, the ugly scenes witnessed in Rawalpindi on Tuesday would suggest that they have gone a step, or several, too far.

Musharraf supporters had reportedly turned up in large numbers as he appeared before a court in connection with the Benazir Bhutto murder case. Lawyers were also present, although they claim not in the same numbers. After some sloganeering, a melee broke out between the two groups and while the lawyers were at first outnumbered, reinforcements soon arrived and carried them to an (in)glorious victory.

The savagery didn’t stop there however. Not satisfied with beating the living daylights out of their “opponents”, lawyers, sticks in hand, took to beating passer-bys and breaking the windows of any vehicles they could find. Initial reports suggest vehicles did not shout pro-Musharraf slogans.

While the healthy participation by female lawyers is one positive the legal community could point to, there are not many others. The fact that members of a revered and educated segmented of society, specializing incidentally in “law”, would take the law into their hands and act as petty thugs in such a blatant fashion must be worrying for everyone not only in the community but in the country.

It’s even more worrying that this was not a one off incident. Since Musharraf’s return, the lawyers have only grown more violent with each passing day. First a shoe was thrown by a lawyer at the former General. The next time it was a chair. Next a couple of his supporters were singled out for punishment, landing one in hospital.

Yet the most worrying aspect in all of this is the indifference of the leaders of the legal community. Appearing on a TV talk show the evening of the incident, prominent leaders of the lawyers’ movement, including Ali Ahmed Kurd and Taufiq Asif, president of the Rawalpindi High Court Bar Association, did not appear too keen to confront the issue of continued use of violence by lawyers.

Taufiq Asif especially stressed on the non-culpability of lawyers because they had been provoked and attacked by Musharraf supporters. Hence what they did was only in retaliation.

Now the “they started it” argument here is out of place for a number of reasons. First because it is being made not by a 5 year old but by the President of a High Court Bar Association. Second because two wrongs make a wrong. Third because if everyone was to follow the example set by the lawyers, which is to settle their scores on their own and circumvent the legal process, lawyers would become... kind of extinct.

Moreover it deflects from the fact that since the Lawyers movement re-seated CJ Iftikhar Chaudhry, the community has become a pressure group not to be messed with; rather than the educated, righteous role models to be emulated.

Lawyers have been in the headlines for all the wrong reasons since the movement ended. They have beaten police officers, they have attacked judges, they have assaulted media persons and much of it has been caught on tape. Their response to getting filmed while beating someone has been to beat the people who filmed them. Not exactly encouraging.

All the while the leaders of the legal community have done nothing. This is perhaps the most well organized community in the country, with Bar Associations for districts and provinces and at the national level. Yet they take no action against the “black sheep” who physically assault people and suspend memberships of lawyers for representing certain clients.

This is to say, between beating people and representing people, the latter is deemed more reprehensible by the Bar Associations.

The lawyers have a problem and it won’t go away if it isn’t acknowledged. It is about time leaders of this community realize that their own reputation is what has suffered most at their battle-hardened hands.

The various Bar Associations need to take meaningful action against the culprits in Tuesday’s fracas, most of whom are easily identifiable via video. If they don’t, they will only be hastening the fall of the whole community from the status of heroes to the status of hoodlums.

A Different Pakistan

By this time most papers have stated the obvious about what went wrong on Friday along with the perceived causes. Subjects dealt with included freedom of speech vs. hate speech, Terry Jones and background of filmmaker Nakoula Bassey Nakoula, provocation and our stupid response, and to top it all off, shock and disgust at the violent nature of protests.

The analysis of what went down and why, at least in most of the English press, confirmed my long standing suspicion. I live in a different Pakistan.

In the Pakistan that I inhabit, violent protests erupted just a few months ago due to loadshedding and people actively hunted for MNAs. It resulted in many deaths along with damage to property. In recent memory mobs have burned people for blasphemy, while earlier the fate of two brothers in Sialkot was even harsher.

Needless to say, if the people catch you while committing a crime, real or perceived, you will be lucky to make it to the cops.

What about the learned people? Those who are above the masses, the ones not only setting standards but also enforcing them?

Our police, one of the most brutal and vicious in the world, kill the odd chap via torture in custody, and are generally very macho. Our lawyers beat down anyone they can get their hands on. Our politicians torture kids. Hell, even our doctors don’t mind a scuffle!

That’s the lighter side of my Pakistan. Wasn’t it pleasant?

The rough side is actually a little disturbing. Insurgencies plague Balochistan and KPK-FATA, terrorism at large, sectarian killings in Gilgit and Quetta. Our right wing political parties are the bad guys, while the three supposedly liberal parties slaughter over a thousand people every year.

My Pakistan is one where violence isn’t widespread; it’s a part of daily life, with or without religion.

Now, can you imagine what would happen if these Pakistanis were invited en masse onto the streets by say, the government of the time? Given a full day off to vent their frustration? And what if the government and the many political/religious leaders who invited these guys to protest didn’t show up themselves?

Piling angry young people onto the streets without anyone to lead them, without any direction, without any indication whatsoever of what exactly are they supposed to do. What would that lead to?

Enough of my Pakistan though.

Let us come back to your Pakistan. I have to say I am as appalled as you are over what happened on Friday. How dare those lovely, peaceful, content people come out, uninvited, on the streets like headless chicken and cause such unheard of mayhem. Not to mention the harm done to our good reputation in front of the whole world.
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Viewing these events in isolation from the daily life in Pakistan is intellectually dishonest at worst and lazy at best.

Viewing the reaction of the Muslim world to that video as a whole is just wrong. It was violent in some countries, peaceful in others. How they reacted had to do with the makeup of those particular societies and the guidance received from political, religious leaders and media.

In our society violence has pretty much been institutionalized, it is the rule here and not the exception. It is what we do, it is who we are. The less said about the political and religious leaders the better, and the media feeds off sensationalism and Bahria Town adverts.

Therefore, I could find nothing shocking about Friday. A violent people, with a nasty bout of anti-Americanism and deadly disdain for blasphemy, let loose on the streets. How many ways could that have turned out? Also, the fact that PPP are an incompetent shameless lot of opportunists who find new ways to hurt the country is the least surprising of all things imaginable.

This was not an anomaly. It wasn’t an ugly episode in our otherwise peaceful national life. It was just another day, albeit made worse by a chaotic, utterly useless government.

So the elite should stop reacting with such marvellous shock. And please, please stop mocking the damn mob, on Twitter no less. If you are privileged enough to have a voice, use it to address the larger disease, not selective symptoms.

The ones responsible for law and order and the ones who claim to be our leaders, they are responsible for not just the violence on Friday, but the daily horrors Pakistanis outside the Red Zone have to deal with.

Karachi Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned

For 2 days now Karachi is at a standstill. Life as we know it has stopped; there are no teenagers making movie plans, no families heading out to the beach, even the “Mailla” motorcycle gymnasts have dismounted their rides and put on the helmets, at least for the time being.

Instead, the roads are littered with burning vehicles, the streets echo with cries and gunshots, and many a corpse lies unattended by the pavement. Children and adults alike have been taken by fear, dread and naked panic, all because of the dastardly Wives. And girlfriends.

Yes, the Wives & GFs of Karachi are on the loose once again. These fashionable terror machines have been largely uncontrollable for the past 4 years and, after a brief lull, are back on the scene.

The Gov of Pakistan has taken steps to pacify the Wives & GFs in the past, to varying success. However to control them, we must first understand the phenomenon of savage Wives & GFs. Unfortunately, intellectual circles are divided over why the Wives & GFs continue to sabotage the city. The most widely accepted view is that of cultural critic and human trafficking enthusiast Nadeem F. Paracha.

“The Wives & GFs have always been a leftist entity, and were prosperous under the reign of King Zulfiqar Bhutto, and in that of his daddy, Gen Ayub Khan. These secularist forces however were put under duress with the arrival of Gen Zia. Years of oppression only strengthened the intrinsic liberal tendencies of Wives & GFs.” Mr. Paracha writes.

“After Zia’s demise, the PPP government was not given enough time, thus making the Wives & GFs bitchier. In the late 90s these women decided to take household matters into their own hands, and this secular movement soon translated onto the political spectrum in Karachi. As the Wives & GFs gained more power, they developed a sense of entitlement which, as I pointed out at the time, was a dangerous step.”

“Now that they have entrenched themselves into the system thanks to backing of rightwing forces, they have turned violent and taken the city hostage. They have also fractioned into different groups, just as the powers that be had planned for them to.” He concludes.

This brings us to the present, with tension flaring up once again between different factions of Wives & GFs. As is often the case when women fight; man paid the price, and in Karachi, prices are sky high.

It is believed that a in a “mushaira”, one Wife caught her husband attending without her permission. She, naturally, shot him dead. Said husband had a girlfriend, who then killed two of the wife’s, who was now a self made widow, lovers.

The next day all hell broke loose. Wives & GFs all over the city went into frenzy. For months they had sat in their homes; silently texting away during the day and calling strangers for some adulterous talk in the night, not anymore. Their many concerns, like the lack of quality lipsticks or the costlier gifts their BFF was receiving, drove them into a rage that the city just couldn’t handle. Girls gone wild, not the good kind.

In fact, many Wives & GFs have admitted to different reasons for killing their husbands or boyfriends or just about anyone else. One Zafira Baloch from Lyari quipped:

“I wanted a microwave oven and my husband bought it for me, but with all the load-shedding I naturally needed a UPS to go with it. I asked my second boyfriend to get me one and he refused. So you see my hands were tied, actually *hehehe* his hands were, if you know what I mean” she said with an inviting smile.

A famous “GF” of the posh Defence area, known amongst her friends as Babra “Goori”, also had a fascinating tale.

“I have been going out with this Industrialist for a year now. He is much older than me, but we have fun together. We connect, you know, he understands me. Anyway, I wanted his seaside bungalow but it was registered in his son’s name. I shot him thrice, in the head. I really love the view from that place, you should come some time.”

Aapa Syeda Shaheen is a regular housewife. She explained how she wasn’t at fault over what had happened.

“I have been loyal to my “marad” for 15 years. Esa figure hota tha mera, log marte they. Now look at me, I am a cow. For him, I sacrificed everything, and the other day I caught him with that skinny slut model from Clifton. Rage came over me and I blacked out. When I regained consciousness, he was lying in pool of blood and I had a frying pan in my hand.”

Despite the open admissions of these, and many more, Wives & GFs to their crimes, the law enforcement agencies seem helpless to apprehend them.

Interior Minister Rehman Malik sat down with me for a candid interview to explain why.

“Cekurity is not easy thing to provide. I have tried my level best and I think done a fantastical job so far. However, we cannot be everywhere all the time.” The Minister said, fondly stroking his shocking pink tie, with green unicorns emblazoned on it.

Sir, but what about those Wives & GFs that have been arrested?

“They will be released very soon. As you know, I think of even enemies’ sisters as my sisters. So how can I take action against my sisters? It is ridiculas, cekurity is good. The Wives & GFs are peaceful”

Then why do they keep killing people?

“It is the weather. As you know, the summers are approaching and the temperature is rising. From today I have banned all spicy food in the city of Karachi. Once there is no spicy food, you will see the violence will vanish. President Zardari has already taken notice of the spicy food.”

Sir, will there be any relief packages for the victims?

“The victims are already dead. What do they need relief from? We have a package for the Wives & GFs of the city, so that they remain peaceful and do not complain again. We will be giving all of them discounts on Lawn. 50% off. The money will be provided through BISP.”

“Another promise of BB Shaheed will be fulfilled; Roti, Kapra aur Lawn.”

The Minister looked very confident saying that last part, and there was a twinkle in his eye, warmth in his smile; the look of a man who knew what he was doing. As I walked out of the interview, I knew that the future of the City Of Lights was about to get even brighter.