A strange cosmic event occurred yesterday. I saw a number of
people criticising MQM for putting someone’s life in danger. The someone being
Khursheed Shah of the PPP, the number of people being the many past &
present PPP loyalists in the media.
This shouldn’t be a surprise then should it? If PPP were
threatened, PPP would come to the rescue. Not exactly. Over the last 6 or so
years, the MQM have not only threatened, they have killed plenty of PPP people.
It hasn’t really bothered the gents in question. Of course the lives of low
level party workers or caught in cross fire innocents are less dear to intellectuals than the lives of venerated meter readers/leaders, but that’s not
the complete story.
A closer look at the situation reveals that the enlightened
people are angry not because of the destination, but because of the route MQM
have chosen to get there. Blasphemy allegation. Thou shall not mix religion
with politics, lest bad things happen.
Or a wonderful thing. For the last 6 years, the same people
have been so quiet about the MQM that you would think they were too busy
shitting their pants, or that their drugs were being held hostage, or that they
were just plain incapable of sight or comprehension when it came to the party. Because
the party that has somewhere between 10-to-35 thousand
armed combatants at its command, which it uses to kill political opponents,
to kidnap and to extort, (when they are not secularizing the environment) never
had to hear any complains about its conduct from our friends.
Yet they have now found their voice. As soon as MQM played
the blasphemy card, it became evident that the avowedly liberal are capable of
not only witnessing MQM’s activities, but also adept at speaking up to the
Namaloom among us.
Which is why we must perhaps rethink the label of PPP
loyalists, for these are men, and women, persons, loyal not to any political
party, but only to ideology. So much so, that they do not see anything outside
of an ideological context.
For example. Killing people in the name of religion. *Blood boiling*.
See, religion is a no go, religion based politics, religious
violence. So killing people in the name of religion is wrong. Their definition
of any title they grant each other is simply “one who opposes any ills that
befall us because of religion & religion alone”. Hence the blasphemy
outrage.
Once you take the religion part out of it, they become
placated.
For example. Killing people.
*crickets chirping*
Nothing. This is why as MQM, PPP & ANP have
murdered thousands upon thousands in Karachi, to go along with extortion and
other minor offences, our friends with ideological clarity have remained at
peace with these parties. The reasons for killing and extortion by these
parties are strictly secular, so it’s ok.
Consider that in the many, many, many decades between
2007 and 2011 around 7,000 people were shot dead in Karachi. Also consider
that in the short while between 1947
and 2014, around 6,123 people have been killed in the whole of Pakistan via
suicide bombings. Now contrast the outrage.
Again, here’s why; they simply do not see a murder if it is
not a murder in the name of religion. In fact the concept of crime as a whole
is lost to these folk. Whether it be money laundering, stealing, kidnapping,
extortion, land grabbing & of course killing, it simply does not register
as a crime unless it is done in the name of religion or done by religious
outfits (because they do it in the name of religion, duuhhh).
People who suffer from this condition are called Non-Facetious
Peeplyas or NFPs for short. The condition is called NFPtitis. And its discovery
helps explain many aspects of the, much talked about yet hitherto unexplained, political
deadlock at the journo-worker level.
See, NFPtitis has political choice implications and it
renders the moral, legal and magnetic compass of a patient obsolete. This in
turn leads to a lot of confusion & anger when NFPs are dealing with
political opponents. A great example to consider would be their interaction
with PTI folk.
The new party on the block is largely fuelled by affluent
upper middle class types from urban areas. These are largely non-ideological individuals
who stayed away from politics until half a decade ago. Their view of crime is
not shaped by an ideological leaning.
That is to say; they consider killing people a crime,
and this is important, even if it is not done in the name of religion.
This holds true also for stealing, kidnapping, extortion & other offences.
Also worth noting is that they harbour disdain for the excesses committed by
political elite & can’t shake of a sense of injustice borne from the old
guard parties, metaphorically speaking, literally
getting away with murder.
So when they interact with an NFP who’s propagating the case
for, say, PPP or MQM they would have a certain aloofness or aggression. The
aloofness because they have not, & the aggression because the PPP has, been
involved in killings, corruption & other such stuff.
On their part, an NFP believes that PPP has done no killing
& corruption because, as explained earlier, the NFP is programmed to
register a crime only when it’s done in the name of religion. NFPs are thus, in
their mind, presenting the case not of criminals, but normal politicians. The
NFPs also tend to believe that middle class focused politics is not the best
way to go. They constantly hallucinate about a young feudal billionaire prince
as the messiah who can shout the lower classes into prosperity.
Encounters between the two thus leave the PTI folk amazed
that there are people asinine enough to defend such criminals. While the NFPs
are left wondering how people can be so self-righteous & vicious, not to
mention who mock Marx’s vision of dynastic rule by billionaire capitalists to
empower the lower classes. Crazy talk comrade.
This is a genuine problem which has gone unaddressed for too
long. The PTI folk, unable to comprehend how seemingly educated people in media
can openly support criminals & murderers, conclude that NFPs are on the
party payroll. The NFPs, impervious to crime committed by a PPP type party
because of NFPtitis, are unable to comprehend how seemingly educated people on
social media can be so hateful. They conclude that the PTI folk are intolerant
trolls. Fascist, say those in terminal stages of NFPtitis.
All the hate because they don't understand each other, and that because of one silly disease. Sigh.
This chasm
greatly pains me, and needs urgent redress. So people can live in peace &
harmony. And Karachi. However, great challenges mar this endeavour. On the one
hand, cleansing lifelong ideology from the NFPs is too much to ask for. On the
other hand, indoctrination of all middle class urbanites is too tedious a task.
What to do? Have no fear, for my suggestion to resolve the
issue at hand is both, like me, brilliant and simple. Legalize marijuana.
I mean crime. Legalize crime. It solves everything.
The NFPs’ worldview comes in line with the rest of the country,
AND the urban middle classes lose their sense of injustice & hate towards
parties that NFPs love. We can thus live in an ideological utopia where
nonsense concepts like crime & law won’t hamper us from siding with the thief
of our choice. And you know there won’t be murder in such a society, because we
won’t admit that anyone was murdered. Like Murtaza.
You’re all welcome.
