Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Ye Jeena Bhi Kesa Jeena Hai

Here is my Nobel prize worthy poem from earlier in the day. It may require you hours, scratch that, days of meditation to understand the complexity and depth in play here.

Ye Jeena Bhi Kesa Jeena Hai
Sawan Ka Maheena Hai Sawan Ka Maheena Hai
Ye Jeena Bhi Kesa Jeena Hai
Mathay Pe Aaya Paseena Hai

Ye Jeena Bhi Kesa Jeena Hai
Tekken Ki Best Player Nina Hai
Sharapova Ko Haradeti Serena Hai

Ye Jeena Bhi Kesa Jeena Hai
Mujh Se Ziada Mashhor Veena Hai
Phasti Nahee Sameena Hai

Ye Jeena Bhi Kesa Jeena Hai
Rishtay Walay Kehte Hain Larka Pheena Hai
Maangu Julia, Milti Sakeena Hai

Ye Jeena Bhi Kesa Jeena Hai
Jaib Khaali, Rehta Aadha Maheena Hai
Yahaan Burkay, Wahaan Katrina Hai

Ye Jeena Bhi Kesa Jeena Hai
Shadeed Shodi Meena Hai
Balthazar Ke Saath Bithaya Ek Kameena Hai (Moment of angry silence.)

Ye Jeena Bhi Kesa Jeena Hai
Khusra Door Se Lagta Haseena Hai

The End

Poetic genius, if I may say so.

Thursday, 14 June 2012

AnchorGate Observations

This was so much awesomeness. Malik Riaz – Mubasher Luqman – Mehar Bokhari.

Video 1 & Video 2

For anyone that is yet to see the videos or for the overly cool people who don’t want to see it, here are some things that stood out.

1) Television Anchors are idiots. I mean look at them. They are just IDIOTS.

2) Mubasher Luqman is something else, and not in a good way. He is a perpetually angry, annoying, whining, brat of a man-child. Walking out on the interview? *Insert 8 year old comparison joke here*

3) Luqman’s behaviour deserves another mention. Even when seated, he was a complete ass. He spent his time smoking, texting, being the least bit interested and taunting everyone in range.

4) Malik Riaz: "Aapke miy'an ke saath kab karun " - Mehar Bukhari replies: "Pehle mere saath tou akele ker lein" Malik Riaz: "Karunga na je”. .. Umm..

5) Mehar Bokhari was pretty incredulous in her own right. She kept telling Mubasher Luqman to be professional while re-planning their planted interview. Professional journalism at its best.

6) Mehar Bokhari: “Lagay ga ke planted hai. Jokay ye hai”

7) The jealousy between Luqman and Mehar was awesome, btw.

8) All the money in the world and Malik Riaz can’t eat “roti, chawal or meetha.” - Sucker.

There’s a bunch of non-TV media people on twitter laughing at all this, trying hard to give the impression that they don’t do it. I read your biased articles based on selective history every day, so shut the fuck up.

The fact that media people do planted interviews shouldn’t surprise anyone who has seen a Nawaz Sharif interview. The fact that Malik Riaz throws money around? Duh.

So what exactly came out of AnchorGate were the bits and pieces of information were flying around.

Arsalan is guilty, Arsalan was trapped nonsense aside, this interview should settle the “Who is behind this?” question now.

Although all biased and unbiased sane people should have known once Hussain Haqqani’s Memogate lawyer took up Malik Riaz’s case, Nusrat Javed’s bashing of the Chief Justice a day ago MUST have removed all doubt. Still, ardent jackasses are a norm in Pakistan and I hope they understand what the Prime Minister’s son called Mubashar Luqman for, DURING the show.

A number of people were calling in/texting. Maryam Nawaz wanted Hamza Shahbaz’s name cleared, what with him being a scandal magnet since beating his wife and all. Mehar Bokhari wanted her own name cleared, Luqman wasn’t that fussed about it. Some high up told the anchors that Malik Riaz was not to be interrupted.

If Luqman and Bokhari let slip any clear mention of them having received money from Riaz I didn’t catch it. Mubasher though was pretty clear about Hamid Mir receiving a Villa from Malik Riaz, which the latter never denied.

That’s also an interesting matter. On social media I have noticed how journos regularly chastise Luqman for showing his biases. He doesn’t really hide them and picked a fight with Mehar Bokhari over mentioning Moonis Elahi, the scion of Q-League.

Hamid Mir though is a journalist’s journalist. He might be corrupt and yet he doesn’t over play his hand. Malik Riaz, when asked why Mir had turned against him despite the Villa gifted, didn’t want to elaborate. Mir is too shrewd, he is dishonest even when being dishonest, so you can’t pin him. Riaz notwithstanding, the real money in the media comes from another Lahore based businessman. Mir knows not to angry the brothers and he is set.

The most amazing thing in the leaked video though was the man himself; Malik Riaz. He is exceptionally clever, a genius. Even off air, he would not spill anything he didn’t want to spill. He was calculated in his responses, he was calm and he played the two anchors with such ridiculous ease.

Riaz is a picture of humility isn’t he? That’s his trick. He doesn’t mind that at all, he doesn’t only throw money at you; he makes you feel so important. Everyone, Mehar, Luqman and even Abdul Qadir Gillani were dealt with in such a candid, humble manner; as if they were his family, the closest people to him.

It was telling that although Mir had taken his money and turned on him, that Malik wouldn’t spill the beans on the former even off the air. Even when Mariam Nawaz sent the message, claiming Riaz had offered Hamza a car which was rejected, Riaz didn’t protest. You could see he had something to say about it. The woman in the background, I hear it was his daughter, did say something about it, but the wily old Malik Riaz dismissed her complaints.

He was aware of the cameras.

This is a man who does not burn his bridges and he has burned one with CJ.

P.S. Videos keep popping up with Malik Riaz involved.