Saturday, 3 December 2011

An open letter to Nadeem F. Paracha

Dear Nadeem F. Paracha,

I am writing to you today because Imran Khan and his stupid rants on TV, coupled with the fact that I am from the “swords and sorcery-meets-lets-be positive” generation, have made me become just another “walking talking contradiction”.

It’s a horrible condition to be in, leading to near unspeakable consequences. Off the top of my head, I log on to facebook quite often and use that medium to express what I believe in. Also, I oppose all US operated drones, including Sana Bucha.

Hopeless, I know, but this isn’t about me, this is about you. You remember October 30th? The day Imran used dark sorcery to draw hordes of mindless zombies – The educated urbanites – to Iqbal Park, Lahore.

Yes, that dark, dark day is where it all started. See, I had been a lost cause long before, but from that day on I thought I would look up outside of my delusional facebook world where every stupid person has an equal voice to the larger news media, where only intellectuals such as thy are allowed to speak. I wanted to see if others have fallen victim to that heinous Mullah Omar in disguise’s deceitful rhetoric.

I have read a few of your pieces since then, and I am extremely impressed. While most in the news media are valiantly fighting the crusade against PTI’s barbaric trolls, no one does it quite like you.

You have it all man. Funny, witty and you do it with such exotic cynicism. So, I decided to learn what makes you tick, what is it that you believe to be right and how I can transform into something close to you.

What I have grasped so far is a little lean to the left, contempt against religious extremists and a disdain for the establishment. I can relate with every bit of that and a few weeks ago I started following you religiously, or atheistically, whatever rocks your boat.

However there have been some trends in your articles that have left me a little confused. Not because you said anything contradictory, God forbid, but because my mind has been corrupted no end by the vicious propaganda out on the web.

You see, because I was brainwashed by the PTI, I have developed an innate repulsion mechanism for Mr. Mian Nawaz Sharif and his party. The fact that most of our learned minds, and many of your dear friends, have been leaning towards MNS recently gave me an indication as to what was going to come from you, so I braced myself for some PML-N love.

Like clockwork, the wheels turned in perfect symmetry and you fell for Mr. Sharif when he fluttered his eye lashes and temptingly held out his hand. I have tried to follow suit, but something doesn’t fit.

You see, I trained myself to think as you do, and that is why I now hate Imran. There were flags of an extremist religious outfit at one of his rallies man, so what if he doesn’t control who gets in to the rally, flags speak louder than actions. Thing is, someone told me that Rana Sanullah sahib toured Jhang with the same extremist banned group.

I shot back, because you have trained me well. I told them at least the PML-N is not a stooge of the establishment. I took great pains in explaining to the infidels that the Punjab government setting Raymond Davis free and transporting him to Chaklala Garrison before the break of dawn so the villainous army men could send him away was NOT at all an example of colluding with the agencies. Naïve idiots. That was just a one off, it happened, let it go already.

Nonetheless, you know these PTI lot, they don’t shut up. Amongst their stupid blabbering I heard something about Chaudary Nisar and Shahbaz Sharif meeting the ISI Chief “chup chup ke” but I simply ignored it, just as you have.

Instead, I fell back on you, Nadeem F. Paracha, and told them, just as you had written, that it is all the hawks in PML-N that are bad. Nawaz Sharif is the only good person and he is against the establishment and against military dictators and religious bigots etc. That ought to shut them up.

No luck. The PTI hounds showed me a fake video where Nawaz Sharif is praising our common enemy, Gen Zia, a man who represents everything you and I hate; religious extremism and military adventurism.

With the shocking video sapping my will to fight back, I came home. Logging on to twitter, another weapon of the PTI jihadis, I saw that you too were using it to spread your latest article, the one on Benazir Bhutto.

My blood boiled as I read about the atrocities you and your colleagues had faced at the hands of Zia in the 80s. Those truly were dark times and I am thankful that my generation hasn’t had to face such vile victimization.

While I was cursing Zia, an elder member of my family told me that Nawaz Sharif was his Chief Minister at that time. If some PTI wannabe had said it, I would have given him an earful and told him to shut the hell up, but please forgive me for not talking back to an elderly person.

Not to worry though, that doesn’t mean that I believed him. I know that the only reliable source of information in the world is Nadeem F. Paracha. So I ask you, was MNS really hand in glove with Zia and all the atrocities committed against you, your fellow students and countless others who died on the streets? And if he was, is it all now forgiven because you have a grudge against Imran and MNS has a grudge against Musharraf?

Awaiting your reply,

Devoted follower.


  1. Brilliant, brilliant piece. Extremely well written, superbly constructed and all valid arguments so well conveyed with such humor and sarcasm. Awesome! Congratulations!

  2. Excellent! Their double standards have now started shouting out like white under a fluorescent light. It's ok to disagree but you gotta call a spade a spade.

  3. All those who will try to fool the nation, will not only discredited but also the nation will not forgive them. Our own blood and flesh is dying every day with every passing day, and we know who are the people responsible for bringing Pakistan to this stage in 60 years.

    Now we have hope in PTI and Imran Khan is a man of honor and he will InshAllah bring revolution. Everyone including army and so called democratic parties have failed 10000% in helping the nation. As all the did was to help their ownself and the ones they wanted to. These people have created the mafia in establishment and in every field in Pakistan. This Mafia just want to keep on looting Pakistan and thats all. Since Pakistan has not good much to give them, all accounts already empty, they are begging for aid from other countries, and they are getting money for killing our own people.

    There is an end to this situation, and God willing, Almighty Has chosen Imran Khan already. Now nobody can stop him, InshAllah Imran Khan will lead us to restore our country's dignity (a word Mr. Musharraf used a lot but never followed its meaning).

  4. It really couldn't get any better than this. Thumbs up! Ali.


    Masood ur Rehman

  5. basing your opinions on a single person's columns, isn't a sane thing to do isn't it.? NFP, like all of us, is a human being, he never encouraged you to VOTE for PML(N), what he said about Nawaz learning some lesson and the hawks in his party dissenting, is an established fact(if u read the papers well, that is). I would not call it a pathetic attempt, no sir, it doesn't deserve that.
    If you WANT to confront NFP, you have to be better than this, and at least comparable to him, then we'd talk.
    NFP fan since last 10 years.

  6. I have my opinions and they are not based on anyone's columns. 10 years is a long time, i have just read his pieces, as i mentioned in the article, since October 30th, and i have found a few contradictions which i have tried to highlight in the article above.
    If you had read two of his articles that i have linked, which came one after the other, they talk of how bad Zia ul Haq was after talking about how good Nawaz Sharif has turned out to be. I simply don't get that and i have tried to elaborate how he is the same old person he was through a few incidents, such as raymond davis and his brothers escapades with the ISI chief. Those are factual events that took place, even in this very year.
    on the other hand, NFP blatantly calls Imran Khan a military stooge because he feels like it, or because he cannot otherwise explain his rise in Pakistani politics.
    Double standards?
    NFP also believes my whole generation is stupid and unaware of historical facts because we don't sing the praises of Bhutto like he does, and he puts those historical facts aside himself in order to big up Nawaz Sharif.
    If you set your 10 year fandom aside, maybe you would be able to see all this.
    I don't want to confront anyone, i want to put his biased and contradictory opinions in perspective.

  7. @ali
    the reason for my post was not confrontation. I probably belong to "your" generation as well, born in laste 80s.
    Let me also confess that NFP is right in saying that our youth(MY and YOUR generation) does not know much about active politics, all we have seen are Musharraf years and before that, the musical chairs between NS and BB. we have not been exposed to student politics of even Local government politics to much extent. Praising Bhutto or any other political leader is different than knowing history. We have been exposed to right-wing mass propaganda since our births, that is why we have not been able to look at the broader picture.
    Regarding the views of Nawaz Shareef, NFP has been hyper-critical of him over the years and I admit that he supported NS in the articles you mentioned, and the reason for this "contra-diction" is the belief that people CAN change.. Nawaz Shareef was the same guy who banned some commercials in his day because it had women in them.!! He targeted BB and PPP after his "heavy mandate" victory in 1997. he built a barrage of cases against the Bhutto family(some were genuine, most were fabricated). he was on course to become "Amir-ul-momineen" but the only good thing he did was to establish good relations with india, If you read Owen bennet Jones' book, "Pakistan: Eye of the storm" you'll know that during that time, Pk and India came the closest to solving the kashmir issue than any of the attempts made during last 64 years. The reason(IMO) why NFP praised NS was because NS reiterated his stance vis-a-vis relations with India and he is the only popular anti-establishment politician in this country right now. We can have a thousand differences with people but If we applaud whats good in them(Gotam Buddha said, there is an element of "goodness" inside everyone) this shows that we are willing to be open-hearted.
    This is my opinion, that I am ready to give NFP the benefit of doubt.
    I do not intend to force my view upon you and I respect your right to disagree with me.

  8. Just as I was thinking how to reply guys like Mr.Nadeem whose criticism depends mostly on clever phrases which makes people believe that he has a "new" way ov thinking; here you are communicating with him in exactly the same way as he does. Its an excellent article. Soooo relieved to read it, (as i dnt abuse on social networking sites and reading NFP made me boil). Good Work :)

  9. Nadeem is a whiner, pro Zardari who hardly talks facts. A couple of years back I exposed that idiot. Check my blog post and see yourself how he hardly gets unbaised.

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