Bravo Mr. Zaka – Down with Immy K

I read a Fasi Zaka piece recently, the crux of which was that a vote for Imran Khan is a vote for Zardari.

I would like to congratulate him on such a brilliant and original point of view. It’s a point of view that has not been expressed vehemently over all media outlets by the PML-N, whose leader Mr. Zaka incidentally views as the “most progressive leader of late”.

Zaka has apparently been very impressed by Nawaz Sharif for saying “some extraordinary things for some time now”. Isn’t it wonderful how our so-called analysts love a politician bashing the military? Even though, the mentioned politician was raised by the military under Zia and re-launched by the military in the IJI.

Therefore, the writer astutely pointed out that it is not Nawaz, but Imran who is likely to promote an agenda of the establishment. It doesn’t matter that he rejected their advances during the Musharraf era, there is just something about the Khan that doesn’t fit in for our learned analysts.

The Americans have called him the only Pakistani politician outside their influence, so how can Zaka mark a tick on the box next to foreign policy for Imran? The former cricket captain is also an ally of the Taliban, whom the PML-N and PPP actively supported during the 1990s. Imran would have done so too, little jihadi devil that he is, but he was a Jewish agent back then so it wouldn’t have made sense.

I personally got a little uncomfortable with the sympathy for Zardari – Perhaps I am just biased. After all, during his tenure Pakistan has reached new heights of development in all fields imaginable. We have so much electricity we can export it, we have money to burn, people are happy, suicides are coming down, crime is non-existent, target killing is unheard of and it isn’t like he has billions in looted wealth tucked away somewhere in Switzerland.

Fasi points out the reason for my bias; it’s because our dear President had to deal with a hostile establishment. Yes, nothing says bad relations with the establishment than giving three year extensions to the COAS and his spy master – The ISI chief.

The point though, was driven home at the start. Shrewd as he is, Fasi drew parallels with politics in America to put Imran in his place. No, Imran’s not like the populist Barrack Obama who came to power by promising change in the last elections – That would be silly. He is Ralph Nader, the man who spoiled the party for Al Gore aka Nawaz Sharif and inadvertently helped George W Bush aka Zardari.

It’s a battle between the right and the left you see. We have an unemotional and educated electorate who vote on ideology. They don’t vote because of cult love for Bhutto, or because of sympathy after Benazir’s assassination. I can also testify that there was not one man who voted for Nawaz Sharif because of dislike for Musharraf – Not a single one.

No matter the situation in the country, no matter the popular sentiment, people will vote as they are supposed to and everyone knows that it has been written down for us to vote only for the two parties currently entrenched in power. We just don’t have any say in the matter – It’s not like free will exists!

To the burger boys that turned up at Minto Park in Lahore and keep telling us that we have a third option – you guys can shut up already! Don’t you know that Mr. Zaka has decided who everyone is going to vote for?

And his dear Mian Sahab has already waited an awful while to get his turn.


P.S: If you didn't get the sarcasm; don't have kids.