Hussain Haqqani and the Courts of Pakistan

When I read the title of Hussain Haqqani’s latest musing on the sorry state of Pakistan, I knew what was coming. This would be “How Pakistan Lets Terrorism Fester” in the New York Times.

The Pakistan People’s Party and its “friends” in the media have become as predictable as target killing in Karachi. Neither look like stopping any time soon too. Correlation, anyone?

Anyway, the standard formula for PPP media management comprises of 3 steps:

1)Identify the audience. In this case, and in most, the United States.
2)Identify what they are most bothered about. Terrorism.
3)Now link it to whoever you are most annoyed with.

Over the last 4 years the formula has worked wonders for the PPP. Screaming that anyone who opposes them is definitely a terrorist sympathizer, the party has managed to curry favour from the US all along. Taliban Khan is by now a well established moniker while PML-N has also earlier been put in its place, remember “Maulvi Nawaz”?

The PPP appointed head of ISI of course became a stout promoter of terrorist outfits during the memo-gate days.

Now, as chief protagonist of PPP-US relations, Mr. Haqqani has noticed that the pesky judges at the Supreme Court are really overstepping their constitutional bounds and clearly have their priorities all wrong.

You see where I am going with this?

According to Hussain Haqqani, the courts are now the major hindrance in eradicating terrorism. The court has a “partisan” agenda, where it is “trying to dislodge the government by insisting on reopening cases of alleged corruption from the 1990s”.

Yes, the court does seem to have it in for this government. After all, the NRO law that closed those cases in the first place was NOT promulgated by a military dictator, nor did the SC show any opposition to it before the elections of 2008. It certainly wasn’t hearing a case against the NRO before Musharraf sent it packing with his second martial law.

So the bias against a democratic government is pretty clear.

Haqqani also tells us that “our courts should be focused on identifying, arresting and prosecuting the individuals who helped” Osama Bin Laden. Because after all, identifying, arresting and prosecuting people is the job of courts, while the PPP has formed a government to pass judgements, in between partying at the beach and trips to the barber shop.

That is not all however. If you were to bear with Mr. Former Ambassador a while longer, he will show you how terrorists in the country are routinely set free “by judges who overtly sympathize with their ideology”.

Now at this juncture I will like to point out that Mr. Haqqani is growing old and his mind is not as sharp as it once was. Memory loss? Perhaps. He has in the recent past misplaced cell phones when most important calls had to be made, never mind simply forgetting BB Pins in awkward situations.

As the man chronically forgets stuff, he wasn’t able to fully expose the wretched judiciary of our fine country. The judiciary is much viler than the fair ambassador has suggested.

What the ambassador, because of his rather frail mind, forgot to mention here was that the judiciary also “overtly sympathizes” with the ideology of target killers in Karachi, of separatists in Balochistan, of smugglers, bureaucrats and of high handed intelligence operatives all over the country. None of whom see many convictions.

In fact, the judiciary even supports the ideology of Asif Ali Zardari, whatever that maybe, as the President hasn’t been convicted in any of the cases against him, at least in this country. The Swiss judiciary, as we all know, is the birth place of terrorism.

Seeing the raw data, some might suggest that the judges don’t actually support someone that they acquit of charges. That in fact they might just not have enough evidence to convict. Some even might go as far as to conclude that the justice system in Pakistan is broken, that massive reforms are needed in the system; laws need to be strengthened and loopholes closed.

Still others might point out to Mr. Haqqani that in the last 4 years the government that he has so ably represented in the United States did not legislate for said purpose, and does not intended to do so in the future. Instead, it has brought a constitutional amendment aimed at controlling the Supreme Court, by changing the process of appointment of the judges.

So, does the PPP consider it more important to control who sits in the apex court rather than to strengthen laws so that terrorists could be better prosecuted?

I could now accuse the PPP of never really wanting to reform the justice system. I could say people like Hussain Haqqani were the last people who would want our problems to be fixed. His kind of people, who change loyalties and ideologies out of convenience, who proudly boast of representing the IJI when there are still cases pending against that movement; would they really want stronger courts?

I would however do no such thing, because Mr. Haqqani is only human, he errs like others and obviously, as I said before, his mind isn’t as sharp as it once was.

His heart though, however ill and keeping him from attending court proceedings, is in the right place. This I realized at the end of his piece, where he passionately ask the Pakistani media to “be more focused on asking why those deemed terrorists internationally are celebrated as heroes at home.”

You see this gives me hope, because I know when Mr. Haqqani’s mental condition stabilizes, he will surely ask his government why those deemed terrorists internationally are celebrated as coalition partners at home?

Let’s all pray the Alzheimer’s wears off soon.

LUMS Personal Statement

Yes, so I had promised people I would put up my LUMS Personal Statement up here.

I just came back from LUMS, and this is what got me the interview call for their MBA programme. Once you go through it, you will understand when I tell you that it was the most awkward interview ever.

Note: Only part of application up here.



What are your three most important achievements to date? Why do you consider them important?


Achievements:

1. Well, there was this girl in college. Seriously HOT. I made out with her! WIN :D

2. I once marked my attendance from outside of the window in the class of my Head of Department. Didn't get caught. Was.So.Cool.

3. Ate 18 slices of Pizza a few Ramadan’s ago at Pizza Hut Ramadan Iftari Offer. 18.

Importance:


1. Making out with the hot girl wasn’t easy. She was probably the most sought after girl in college, so to get to her I had to fight off competition from a whole host of other guys. Even some who, hard to believe, were better looking than me. It didn’t help that the girls and boys sections were separate, so I had to devise all kinds of schemes just to get to talk to her.

The experience told me I could face up to competition and achieve the goals I set for myself, even if I wasn’t the best equipped for the task. It was also a test of my resourcefulness and I like to believe that I passed.

2. Marking the attendance from the window was just sick. The HOD was very infamous for his abhorrence of proxies, as well as for anyone he caught being cheeky. So this was a big deal, especially considering he had taken disciplinary action against two seniors just a few days back. His classes though really were torture, so this had to be done.

What it represented for me was the ability to keep my composure, an inclination for taking risks and three stars at handling high pressure situations.

3. Eating 18 slices is quite a feat. If you have ever been to Pizza Hut during Ramazan you would know that the quality goes down, and after the first hour and a half the waiters really start hounding you to get up and leave.

This was about valuing your money. It was about accepting a challenge and showing the resiliency to see it through. The initial bet was 16 slices, the fact that I went to 18 told me I could push myself further and shouldn’t let pre-set boundaries confine me and my ambitions.


Why do you want a graduate degree from LUMS? How will you benefit from the programme you wish to attend at LUMS?


1. Money. Basically. I have heard that people with a LUMS degree earn shitloads of money. So. Yea.

2. The “Mahol” at LUMS is awesome.

..............

You get the idea.

Bash Thy Army

Bashing the military is a favourite past time of the ones who have been enlightened, and rightly so. An increasing number of cool boys now also want to be enlightened, so they have taken to bashing the army too. The tool is a laptop; the location is their cosy house in Defence.

The new army bashers however, in my humble view, need to know a thing or two before launching into a gallant bayonet charge. So I have decided to help them out and will now try to explain how to effectively bash the malicious military, or how to do it ineffectively.

Props to my dear mentor and angry middle aged man, Nadeem F. Paracha; for the master is once again a step ahead of the pupil. He knows the young ones need guidance, so he recently demonstrated how NOT to bash the military.

“We have latest fighter jets for the military, but rickety 27-yr-old passenger planes for the people. Doesn't sound right.”

Let’s put aside the fact that it is terribly distasteful to try and use a tragedy to further your own agenda, and focus on the content.

The rickety 27-year old passenger plane that went down did not belong to the PIA; it belonged to a private airline, so the comparison with military jets does seem ridiculous. They don’t have the same source. The latest military jets also do crash and there have been multiple instances in the current year already.

In any case, Pakistan is doling out billions to the national air carrier so that handpicked Jiyalas in the management can have the prettiest air hostesses to mingle with.

NFP knows all of this, probably better than I do. However when Bhoja crashed a lot of the reactionary anger on social media was directed at the PPP. Naturally, the Jiyala in him had to alter the discourse, so he came up with the above mentioned gem.

We shall get back to this later. Let’s go through other NOT to do bashing routines first.

Another wrong way of doing it is stating incorrect, made-up figures. So vehement had the propaganda been regards the Army’s share of national budget that an army officer’s son once convinced me the military gets 60 percent.

This misrepresentation then allows Ashfaq Pervez Kayani to correct you with a smug look on his face. The share proposed in the next budget is 20 percent, although ET will tell you that coupled with the 2 percent for education, not with the many percents spent on loan repayments to our foreign benefactors. Najam Sethi will add around 5 to 10 percent for allowances and/or pensions.

One more thing I have noticed is the overzealous criticism of the military by some of its main beneficiaries. Yes, I am looking at you; supporters of the Sher who is also Ameer-ul-Momineen. Without any political achievements to boast about, certain people and their supporters have decided to just spout nonsense in this regard; framing it as their biggest draw.

It’s probably because they believe everyone has magically forgotten the identity of Gen Zia-ul-Haq’s Chief Minister in Punjab. Or perhaps they don’t know who Chotay Mian Sahab came to meet in Rawalpindi the night before Long March.

Going back to NFP, the point he was obviously trying to make is that bashing for the sake of it seems stupid. In fact, these are all examples of partisan bashing and people are able to see through them now. Therefore, all they do is harm the good cause. A large section of the population relates patriotism with the military, for good or for bad. With the unwarranted, shallow and often baseless criticism of the institution, enlightened ones continue to alienate those who might otherwise realise that the army has transgressed on many occasions.

There was much momentum gained to this end in the last few years of Musharraf, momentum that could have been harnessed to effectively curb the influence of our establishment. The shenanigans of the political elite however have slowly eroded that momentum. Whose fault is that?

I had grown tired of hearing it and now, thanks to the memo-gate, the excuse that the elite are helpless is no longer a valid argument either. To protect one of their own, they can stare down the combined might of the military and the judiciary, and are helpless only when rights violations are committed against people whose votes don’t matter to them?

In a democratic country, the onus should be on the political class to take the lead in tackling all issues. Questions are to be asked of them, and they have to provide the answers. Try doing that in Pakistan and you will get ridiculed by a certain section of the press who believes the military is responsible for all evil.

Well, even if it is, ask the people you voted for to do something about it. How does the military being wrong make the ruling class saints? It’s the most amazing, awesome logic ever crafted.

The irony is that the politicians they are trying to protect are the same ones who have benefited from the military in the past and continue to do so in the present. The relationship works both ways, appointing the Air Chief Marshal as MD PIA is just another example.

It is also a fact that the Chief of Army Staff is NOT appointed through a general vote, nor is the head of the ISI. Directly, the people cannot hold them accountable. So at the end of the day, you and I can only vote people into parliament and it is up to them to take the military to task.

Bypassing the face of the government seemed logical when a serving Army Chief was also the President. He is not anymore; Bhutto’s spiritual son has taken over. Wake up and ask him to settle matters with the man who gave him an NRO.

Emo Post: Repressing The Pain.

I closed my eyes when I realized what had come to pass. Sat there quietly for a moment; regaining composure. Got up, turned the TV off, walked out and just stared into the darkness.

Stood there for a while, not sure what to make of it. Went for a little stroll too, wandering aimlessly in the street. I needed to be alone.

I knew then that things wouldn’t go back to how they were before. I felt helpless, yes, and there was anger, but it quickly faded into sorrow. Then to despair. I don’t even know how many emotions I went through in those moments, or which ones exactly.

Could things have turned out differently? I asked myself. Was there another way? Was there a separate path, one that led elsewhere, just not here? It was a futile exercise though, because things were never in my hands, they were never in my control.

I was but a mere spectator.

Haunted, and troubled, I turned to the one person I knew would comfort me. She consoled me, she did. She told me it was OK to be sad and, most importantly, she told me to move on because there was bound to be a happy ending. She said there is always a happy ending.

I was young, very young. It was an impressionable age. I guess it’s just natural how I reacted, how long it took me to recover.

Looking back at it, to that day in particular, I cannot help but smile. Isn’t that a surprise?

There indeed was a happy ending. Everything they tell you; you will move on, you will get better, it’s just a phase, it is all true. Life just goes on and it would be funny if it weren’t actually cruel.

I am happy today, well, I am how people are. I laugh and cry, I love and hate. I go out with friends and I spend time with my family. I have it all, in a way.

I might not be the person I was, but that doesn’t really matter.

Today, I am busy with what is now. There is the odd occasion though when the mind goes back in time, when it comes back to you. The heartache comes back, that gut wrenching feeling, the anger, the sorrow.

I guess a part of me will never really move on, a part of me will always hang on to that memory, and to the pain.

The pain I felt that day, the pain that lives on in me, the pain that reminds me.






Mufasa was killed.



And Simba was blamed for it.