Don’t you hate evil people? And don’t you love twitter? I know I do and I can’t stand the level of evil currently permeating on the twitter that I love.
Thankfully though, there are some selfless ones out there who have devoted their lives to identifying such evil and taking it to task. This blog post is inspired by the gallant words of one such heroine, who goes by the name of Tazeen Javed.
If you haven’t heard of her, shame on you. Tazeen recently took down the evil witch Jemima “Yahoodi” Khan, after the latter had hurled unholy incantations at the saintly Najam Sethi.
In a brave act, she consented to her “Op-Ed” being published at the Express Tribune website. Even though ET would never publish a rebuttal, there have been instances where critical comments get through their screening process.
Tazeen didn’t care. Respect.
You see the elderly journalist Najam Sethi, who is only the Chief Editor of the Friday Times and once or twice has been on a Geo News show, is clearly at a disadvantage against Jemima, occasional columnist who has a twitter account.
He obviously can’t take her on with his limited resources. Enter Ms Javed.
Morality demanded of her to help an old man in trouble and Tazeen, a champion of the oppressed, stepped up. In her Op-Ed, she broke off the shackles and destroyed the notoriously cruel Jemima Khan step by step. It was beautiful. Seriously, must read stuff.
As you all know, Jemima’s vitriol against Mr Sethi was based on “false accusations” that he referred to her as a Jew, despite her being a Muslim who had formerly been a Christian. So Ms Javed dismantled that notion right at the beginning.
It was crafty, because it needed to be. Najam Sethi sahib clearly states, within the first five minutes, that Imran Khan married a Jewish woman, in his casual gup-shup style. Damn Youtube. I know.
With the truth being muddled by the, umm, other truth on YouTube, Tazeen used the old diversion strategy to bring clarity. She started beating on about some clips of Fazl Ur Rehman and some bullies who had wronged her and helping Jemima, among other very profound … reasoning.
The fact that Jemima’s vile rant was actually against Sethi sahib’s “British media Jewish Heiress” tweet didn’t get space in the eloquent article. Instead, Ms Javed slid in some real wise ass digs at Jemima, the Express Tribune editor LoL-ed at those.
Some column space still needed to be filled and Tazeen was running out of ideas. Fortunately, she had just watched the hilarious Brit comedy “The Invention of Lying”. Believing events in the movie to be real, Ms Javed decided to give it a go. Thus she next implied that Najam had been targeted because it was easier to do so, and Fazl-ur-Rehman let off.
Yes, I know Jemima had come down much harder on Maulana Diesel, but it’s ET. Honest people. And that movie is quite funny actually. So, you know… It’s for a good cause.
Now we get to closing the piece. Throw in a reference to Saleem Shehzad, because that was completely relevant in Jemima vs. Sethi, and complain about PTI trolls. That’s the standard recipe to get a smoking piece of shit published these days.
Tazeen Javed knows that and the editor at ET doesn’t know better. Prompt a first comment that says “I watched the show. I swear what’s written above is true”, a very recurring coincidence, and the smacketh down has been laid. Counter that you Jewish heiress. Power of the pen, ET style.
There’s a lesson here for Jemima. Since “she was never considered particularly bright by anyone of note”, I am going to have to spell it out for her.
We Hate You.
By “we”, of course I mean the Pakistani press. It’s annoying to us that you don’t get it already. Have you forgotten what we did to you in the nineties? We are going to it all over again baby, just you see.
Actually, it’s not just the media. It’s pretty much the whole country. You married a national hero, but we still kicked your ass. You have already lost your marriage because of us, you have been driven out of the country, and we weren’t even being mean back then.
We won’t stop coming for you either. So please do the only thing that we will tolerate; shut up.
Just keep mum as Fazl-ur-Rehman attacks your children and Najam Sethi wonders about your religion. You have no right to speak up.
If you do, we sting. You can’t win no matter what you say. For instance, in the month of February, Nadeem F. Paracha is going to put on his smug face and call you a hypocrite every time he thinks of Hafiz Saeed. He thinks of Hafiz Saeed ALOT, btw.
We don’t care about making sense. You think you can mess with Najam Sethi? You Jehadi Jew hypocrite, NFP judges you.
And so do the rest of us.